


An Angel's Wingman

by TrashKat



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Karen is an inadvertent wingman, Kenny dies from affection, M/M, Protective Karen, not literally though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 22:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13109865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashKat/pseuds/TrashKat
Summary: Karen is Very Protective of Kenny when he and Kyle start dating, and determines that she has to save him from a terrible fate.





	An Angel's Wingman

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm kinda new to SP but I am very sold on K2 and decided there needed to be more content, especially involving Karen, and this got out of hand very quickly. Whoops.

Karen heard the sound of scuffling footsteps out in the hallway. It was dark out, long past the time when their parents moved their fighting into the privacy of their room, so she clutched her favorite doll close to her chest and crept to the door. She could definitely hear something moving, though the familiar shouting of her parents almost drowned it out entirely. Opening the door, she peaked out and looked down the dark hallway, breath caught in her chest. Something was moving down the hall, shuffling quickly for the front door—Karen held back her tears and followed it out to the living room.

Light filtered in through the front door when the figure pulled it open, and that was when Karen noticed the familiar, bright orange parka sliding through the doorway. She hid out of side until the front door closed, nearly silent save for the click of the lock, and then rushed to the window. Kenny was sneaking out? Karen watched him walk down the road, tucked in on himself against the cold evening wind, heading across the train tracks to the neighborhood on the other side. Where was he going?

Karen flinched when a particularly loud shout echoed down the hallway from their parent’s room. She glanced behind her and chewed her lip. Kenny would get in a lot of trouble if their parents found out he went out so late without permission. What was he even doing? She made a decision then, and snuck back down the hallway to grab her blanket from her room. She draped it over herself and settled down next to the window, her back resting against the wall. If he was going to go out at night, then that meant it was her job now to look out for him.

* * *

 

Karen jolted up, reeling back into consciousness after nearly falling asleep for the fifth time in the last thirty minutes. Kenny had been gone for a couple hours now. Their parents had since stopped their fighting and went to bed, but now she couldn’t help but think that maybe her older brother was in trouble somewhere and needed her help. She kept wondering if she should go out and look for him, but it was so dark out and she wouldn’t even know where to look.

She heard the footsteps on the pavement outside before she could even decide what to do. She scrambled to her feet and poked her head up to look out the window, and almost immediately spotted her brother’s bright orange parka approaching the house. There was someone with him too, and he she could hear his muffled laughter after her brother said something to him. It was weird, because Kenny also had his hood down, and he almost  _never_ had his hood down. Even in the house he’d really only take it off to sleep and shower, or when they spent time together and she wanted to play with his hair.

As she got a good look at this person, she was pretty sure she’d seen him around a couple times before—a guy in a funny green hat that Kenny hung around with a lot—but it really didn’t explain what the two of them were doing outside their house at night. They’d paused a little ways down from the front door and Karen watched them intently as green-hat guy rubbed the back of his neck and said something. She watched, fascinated, at the way her brother’s eyes shifted down and he fiddled with the sleeve of his parka, but what really got to her was the way green-hat guy leaned in and placed a single, quick kiss on her brother’s cheek.

They exchanged a few more words, but Karen didn’t stay to watch because suddenly Kenny was turning toward the front door and she didn’t want to get caught spying on them, so she ran back to her room and hid under her blanket. She tried not to breathe too hard when she heard footsteps coming down the hall, pausing in her doorway before carrying on. Green-hat guy must have left, because she heard Kenny settling into his own bed a few moments later. She kept picturing the kiss, her heart pounding with worry thinking about what would happen if they held hands and then fell in love, like their parents. She didn’t want that happen to her older brother. She  _couldn’t_ let that happen. He didn’t deserve it.

* * *

 

Karen found him at school a couple days later, walking back from the bathroom during recess. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of his stupid green hat, and she stomped up to him before he reached the doors to go outside. Cutting in front of him, she crossed her arms and huffed.

He seemed surprised, his brows raising up and vanishing under his hat as she continued to glare up at him. She didn’t get what was so special about him, especially with that confused expression taking over his features as he blinked down at her.

“Can I help you?” He asked slowly, his green eyes darting around like he was looking for someone, or something.

“What’s your name?” Karen demanded. She didn’t like the way he talked.

“Kyle,” he answered. “And you are?”

Karen glared at him and didn’t reply. He shifted uncomfortably in place.

“Is there something you need from me or—”

“No!” Karen shouted suddenly and jumped back. Kyle recoiled at her reaction and took an instinctual step backwards. “I know what you’re planning! I won’t let you trick me!”

“Planning?” He echoed. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but—”

“Liar!” Karen yelled, and then she was shoving past him and running down the hallway as fast as she could. She thought she heard him calling after her, but she didn’t stop until she was around the corner and out of sight. This Kyle guy was a lot more dangerous than she had originally thought—she had to save her brother before it was too late.

* * *

 

A couple nights later, Karen heard it again. She was in her room when she heard the scuffling of footsteps out in the hall, the same way she’d heard it when Kenny snuck out last time. There was no doubt in her mind he was going to meet with Kyle again. She waited until the footsteps faded before she scrambled to her feet and put on her shoes. This time she’d put a stop to Kyle’s plans for sure.

Kenny walked down the road and across the train tracks just like he had two nights ago. Karen followed him a short distance away. It was cold outside, and Karen really wished she could hold Kenny’s hand because it was kind of scary when it got dark out, but he wasn’t supposed to know she was following him or he might get mad. Or worse, Kyle might find out and ruin her plans to stop him.

Kenny stopped at a house just on the other side of the tracks, and Karen had to rush to find a hiding spot behind a garbage bin so he wouldn’t catch her following him. From behind the bin, she watched as the door swung open to reveal Kyle. She watched the way he smiled when Kenny greeted him, and how he grabbed Kenny’s arm as he dashed out the door, practically dragging her brother down the street as he talked about something she couldn’t quite make out over the wind. Whatever it was, Kenny seemed quite content to listen to it, nodding along every so often to show he was paying attention. Karen decided she didn’t like it.

Hastily, she knelt down and scooped up a handful of snow, packing it quickly into a snowball. Taking aim, she threw it with all her might at Kyle’s back, but it fell short and landed on the sidewalk a couple feet behind them. With a small yelp, Karen dived behind a tree in someone’s front lawn and held her breath.

“What the fuck?”

She heard Kyle’s confused voice drift over and looked out from behind the tree to find the two of them standing near where the snowball had landed. Kyle glanced up and looked around suspiciously, but made no move to approach her hiding spot behind the tree.

“Cartman, if that was you, I swear I’m gonna deck you!” Kyle shouted.

Karen frowned. Who? Still, it was probably good he didn’t suspect her—now the only thing left to do was figure out how she could beat her brother home without him noticing. That was when she heard her brother’s muffled voice, followed by Kyle’s loud sigh. Karen peeked out again only to find Kenny reaching out his hand this time to take Kyle’s hand, before they continued walking down the street together. Karen fumed and puffed out her cheeks. It was supposed to be done now! It was all stupid Kyle’s fault.

She ended up following them all the way into town, to the local Denny’s of all places. Kyle let go of her brother’s hand to hold the door open for him, and then they both disappeared inside. Karen hovered outside, rocking back and forth on her heels, wondering if she should go in too or just go home. Still, she didn’t like the idea of leaving without having scared off Kyle, so she balled her fists, took a deep breath, and charged in.

She spotted them sitting at a booth towards the back of the restaurant, laughing over something together.

“Can I help you, miss?” The hostess asked her.

“No,” Karen said quickly and scurried past, keeping her eyes glued on the booth they were sitting at.

When she turned the corner, Karen saw how their legs were tangled together under the table and something in her snapped. Forgetting her initial plan to remain hidden, she was overcome with a sudden sense that it was now or never, and she couldn’t take it anymore.

She ran up to their table and shouted, “Stop!”

She heard a distinct hiss of pain as the two of them jumped in their seats and tried to disentangle themselves. Kenny in particular looked extremely startled, staring at Karen in disbelief.

“Hey, you’re that girl from school!” Kyle exclaimed at the same time that Kenny said, “Karen!?”

Karen reached out and grabbed Kenny’s hand. “Come on!” She said, and tugged desperately.

Kenny hardly budged, but his face fell to a deep frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything!” She cried, tears pricking at her eyes. “We have to go right now!”

“Hey, slow down,” Kenny said, “Tell me what’s the matter so I can help, ok?”

Tears started spilling over and she sucked in a hard breath. “I don’t want you to fall in love!”

Kenny’s mouth fell open but he was wordless. With a sniffle, Karen swiped at her face and continued, “Mommy and Daddy are supposed to be in love, and all they do is yell and fight. I don’t want you to be like them…”

Something in Karen’s stomach dropped when Kenny didn’t say anything. Her throat tightened as tears continued to stain her face. She didn’t like seeing her brother like this.

“You’re Kenny’s little sister, aren’t you?”

Karen tore her gaze away from her brother to see Kyle smiling gently at her. She recoiled and tried to pull Kenny closer to her, but still she nodded once, firmly. Kyle mirrored the action, and slid out of the booth so he could kneel down next to her. She eyed him warily, but his gentle smile was even and he made no attempt to reach out for her.

“You must care about him a whole lot, huh?” He asked, and when she narrowed her eyes he added, “I have a brother too. His name’s Ike and he’s really important to me, so I know a thing or two about brothers.”

Karen’s grip on Kenny loosened somewhat and she nodded again.

“Well, do you wanna know something Karen?”

“What?” She asked, her voice cracked from crying.

Kyle glanced around before he leaned in and gestured for her to come closer. She did, and he whispered conspiratorially, just loud enough for the three of them to hear, “I care about your brother a whole lot too.”

Karen searched Kyle’s face. His green eyes sparkled in the restaurant’s lighting and she thought they were actually kind of pretty. A small smile crept on her face, and Kyle’s own smile grew wider.

“I promise, Karen, your brother is  _really_  important to me, and I want to make him as happy as I possibly can. So, it would make me really happy if you’d give me permission to do that,” Kyle said. “Would you give me your permission to try and make your brother happy?”

Karen grinned and tackled Kyle in a sudden hug. “You have my permission,” she said, before slipping out of his arms and running out of the restaurant. If it was Kyle, she figured, maybe it would be ok after all.

* * *

 

Kyle stood as he watched Kenny’s little sister run out of the restaurant. Most of the other patrons had turned back to their own conversations, and Kyle let out a private sigh of relief. He’d never been so thankful to have grown up with a younger sibling before—that could’ve gone a lot worse.

Sliding back into the booth, Kyle let out a small chuckle and said, “Younger siblings sure are something, aren’t they? Cute, though.”

Kenny didn’t laugh at the attempt of a joke. In fact, he didn’t do much of anything—he was being unusually silent. Kyle looked up at him in concern. “You ok, Ken?”

Kenny had sunk down and into the booth seat, his shoulders hunched forward. His head was tucked in on himself as he stared down at the table, and his hands were buried in his pockets. Kyle was sure if Kenny had his hood up he’d be trying to hide in it, especially considering the bright red tinge that colored his face.

“Don’t be embarrassed, dude,” Kyle said, “I’m not mad, she was just looking out for you. It’s kind of sweet, actually.”

Kenny’s mouth opened slightly, but he still wasn’t saying anything. Kyle frowned and tried to think what else could be bothering him so much, but nothing else came to mind. Just when he was about to try and press for answers, Kenny spoke.

“ _Fuck,_ Kyle, you’re really important to me too.”

Kenny’s face, if possible, grew even redder, and with a groan he rested his head on the table and buried them in his arms. Kyle blinked, but then he realized what Kenny was saying and he felt a burst of heat wash over his cheeks too.  _Oh._

“I meant all of it,” Kyle said. There was a beat of agonizing silence, before he sucked in a breath and ventured, “Does… this mean we’re officially dating now?”

Kenny let out another, louder groan into his arms, but he reached out with one of his arms and felt around for Kyle’s hands, which were resting numbly on the table in front of him. He twisted their fingers together and squeezed Kyle’s hand once, in a clear message: yes.

“Dude,” Kyle grinned, “your sister is the  _best_ wingman.”

The kick under the table was totally worth it.


End file.
